|every time I look at you I go blind.|
(and its gonna shine right through your eyes)
what do you think this life is like?
(every time I look at you I go blind)
guiding me home.you found me bleeding on the side of the road.guiding me home. by thefireflyliberation
you found me spitting up death and choking on life and letting reality throw bruising fingers around my throat to squeeze the remnants of belief. you found me quaking on the tile and shaking the entire building, my spine cracking like a weathered book. you found me as a victim of my own sense of fantasy, my own desires manipulating my nerves like a finely tuned violin playing nothing but funeral sobs. i was half-awake and half-aware and half-of-something-i-couldn't-even-label; you were in over your head.
three days later and i was stitched up with chapped-lips but swallowing whole foods and keeping it down for the first time in months. i was tasting the milk of your healing hope and the honey of your patience. i was soothed by your cool lips against my feverish forehead, but, i was still scared. i was waking up in cold sweats and breaking out to race down the corridors. i was lashing out when you tried to calm me and exploding at the bares
untitledThese problems matter,untitled by jokseh
but i'm the only one they matter to,
constant assurances of i believe in you
and i can't conceive of you
ever breaking down.
So what happens when i finally break,
give up, throw out the things i can't take,
when i leave and separate
from the people who were there?
turn away, it didn't happen,
don't face my pain because it isn't a bad one,
there's worse hurt in the world that you've heard of
so let's all say that i'm fine.
it's happened already, this slow, constant, steady
flow of people who ignore or trivialize
the things that i despise and can't handle,
try looking through my eyes to these bleak skies
that hover above me wherever i go.
and yet i stay, stay the same, never change,
sit at home on my own staring at my silently mocking phone,
playing games, earning fame and trophies
that aren't real,
it's all so phony, and lonely,
i've given up on hope that has so far left me alone.
these problems matter, adults say they'd rather be me than themselves,
put their job